when i’m going somewhere i know my ex will be…
WAIT IM DEAD
Biggest Fucking Liar I’ve EVER Met
“no, there’s nothing with Sabrina! There’s no one else, I promise!”
BULLSHIT. Go fuck yourself. Good luck Sabrina, he’s NOT a keeper. Have fun with a kid who needs constant attention and needs to know where you are at all times. He makes zero sense because he refuses to do the same for you but wouldn’t care if he didn’t know! (meanwhile goes crazy if you don’t tell him and then tells you to fuck off, even though he’s the one texting you.)
Just remember the last time I was in his truck, we were not driving anywhere. We were hidden in his driveway. In the middle of the night. He then cried the next day leaving me.
Whatever, douchebag. See you never.
I know.
When am I gonna stop talking about it. I’m trying, but you know three years is a hard thing not to think about. It was basically my entire high school life. That’s what I think about when I think about high school. It’s really weird being off for the summer and not seeing him. When I wasn’t with my friends, I was with him. So this summer it’s a lot more nights at home, trying to stop myself from thinking about it. I’ve come such a long way since September and I’m happy with the person I’m finally starting to become. Of course I dont feel like I’m completely myself yet, but I’ll get there eventually. But I did notice something tonight. When I see his name on my facebook chat list, it doesn’t mean what it used to. I used to just read his name and I’d get butterflies and just feel a rush of I don’t even know what it was. I guess love. Now it’s just another name. It hurts a little and does make me wonder what it would be like if we were still together and what he’s up to. But it’s almost like when I look at it and him, we never even dated. I know, it doesn’t make sense based on what I said before. But I don’t even feel like the person I dated even exists anymore. He’s not anybody. It happened, but it’s like he just disappeared into thin air all of the sudden. I guess I can assume that’s a good thing. Of course it’s weird staying at home on the days I don’t see my friends and trying to occupy myself to not think about it, but I feel like even if we did start talking again, I would not be talking to the same person at all. Yeah, it still hurts to think about the things I’ve heard and that they’re most likely true but I don’t know that I’d ever even begin to think about taking him back so easily if the opportunity ever came about. It’s weird because I never, in a million years, thought I’d be saying that. I’m at the point where I don’t even know what I would say if he talked to me or if I ran into him somewhere and he looked at me like he used to. It would be uncomfortable because of all of the things left unsaid and the rumors that have gotten back to me. There will always be a part of me that loves him. He was my first everything, but the problem is I love the person he used to be. I know nothing about the person he’s now become and I don’t know if I’d ever be able to look at him the same.
In reality, I should not be worrying about him. There are other people out there that I’ve met and have not given a proper chance to. I just need to stop worrying and accept it completely. This new boy is trying as hard as he can to get me and I’m getting there. I just have to suck it up and take the leap. He seems like a good kid and I do have to admit I enjoyed hanging out with him when I got the chance. It’s time to get my heart back and stop pretending I don’t have one when it comes to guys other than him like I have been all year.
It just feels good to get these feelings and thoughts out there when it hits me.
(Source: s0ciety-fucksyou, via fiveminutestomidnightt)
